GOOGLE, DON'T FAIL ME NOW

Being an Evil Genius, I don't often need the powers of Google...since I already know everything. Occasionally though, it happens that I might have to search for someone or something in my ongoing quest for World Domination. And on that rare occasion, I may or may not turn to the Big G for some assistance.

Do you ever wonder what other people search for when using The Google? I can understand the basic "How do I blah blah," or "Where does blah blah come from," and even "Where do I find blah blah," but you just gotta know there are freaks out there asking some really weird shit.  

Google actually keep a record of the most popular search terms. You'll notice that when you start typing in the search bar, and Google starts to auto-fill what others before you have typed in that might be similar to your 'unique' question.  

It's mind-boggling that people can be so clueless. I mean, some of those people procreate for Dog's sake! 

Below are some massive Google FAILS...and some Google WINS, just for good measure.  

GOOGLE FAILS

I guess sometimes you just need to know.  But seriously... do you think The Google can see what it is you're about to nuke?  But wait... That's how powerful The Google is.  THE GOOGLE SEES YOU. 

On the heels of the query "Is it..." comes the expanded "Is it wrong..." and you just have to wonder what people are thinking when they make such a plea to The Google.  I'm guessing these searches were made in Arkansas. 

I can understand the basics behind the question "What does it mean...?" but seriously folks... if my poop was green or black, I'd be consulting someone with a fucking medical degree.

And for those of you just asking The Google for its opinion, you'd better be properly equipped. 

Really?  Now Katy Perry has to worry about how she measures up?  Well, she IS engaged to that fucktard Russell Brand.... 

AND NOW, GOOGLE FOR THE WIN

Sometimes its good to know this shit. 

Now THAT is true power.  

Ultimate Crab Dip recipe? Check.  

Directions to my Secret Underground Lair? Check.  

How to assemble a time machine? Check. 

Watch a video demo of Ninja Assassination techniques? Check. 

Find Chuck Norris?  CHECK.  

This is MY Google. 

GOOGLE SAYS WHAT THE..?

Um..... better just to step away from the computer. 

The answer is yes. 

Yes. 

And WOW.

 

I TOLD you.  

And finally, 

PROOF that The Google knows EVERYTHING: